It's been an interesting few days.
First - let's be positive and look at The Good - I had off today so that Ryan could go on his Eagles tour (he had a great time with Daddy and PaPa!), so Maddie, Jacob and I spent the morning at our little local zoo. It was a little cold, but lots of fun! And there is a new penguin exhibit, so we enjoyed meeting them for the first time!
The Bad - I had a really rough end of the week in terms of my childcare job and as my role as a mother to my own children. I have been struggling with these issues, and finally really decided that childcare is a BAD job for me. Craig and I talked about this at length, and decided that I would continue childcare until the end of the school year and then return to being a Stay-at-home mom.
BUT.... Then there's The Ugly - I have noticed, for several weeks, that my bellybutton is looking, well, ugly. I couldn't figure out why - it just looked different and ugly to me. It clicked this morning in the shower this morning that I most likely have an umbilical hernia.
I have to call the doctor on Monday morning, but this is most likely going to mean surgery for me, and I am scared to bits over it! I am worried about so many things - the surgery itself, the timing being off (the kids all have birthdays this spring AND we have a huge vacation planned in June - I can't be recovering from surgery). PLUS - this greatly affects my childcare job. From what I have read, it's like having a c-section, so expect at least a week for recovery (if not 2) and 6 weeks until you feel back to normal.
I have a feeling I am going to end up giving my daycare kids notice. I already planned on discontinuing my services in June - it's not really fair to take a 2-week medical leave before that too. So, this may be the end for that (which is both a blessing and a curse).
I am also most worried about how I will be a SAHM to my children if I am busy recovering from a surgery. :(
I am sad and scared about this. I know there are so many worse things than a hernia, but to someone who never had a surgery or serious illness, I am just a wreck.