It's been an interesting few days.
First - let's be positive and look at The Good - I had off today so that Ryan could go on his Eagles tour (he had a great time with Daddy and PaPa!), so Maddie, Jacob and I spent the morning at our little local zoo. It was a little cold, but lots of fun! And there is a new penguin exhibit, so we enjoyed meeting them for the first time!
The Bad - I had a really rough end of the week in terms of my childcare job and as my role as a mother to my own children. I have been struggling with these issues, and finally really decided that childcare is a BAD job for me. Craig and I talked about this at length, and decided that I would continue childcare until the end of the school year and then return to being a Stay-at-home mom.
BUT.... Then there's The Ugly - I have noticed, for several weeks, that my bellybutton is looking, well, ugly. I couldn't figure out why - it just looked different and ugly to me. It clicked this morning in the shower this morning that I most likely have an umbilical hernia.
I have to call the doctor on Monday morning, but this is most likely going to mean surgery for me, and I am scared to bits over it! I am worried about so many things - the surgery itself, the timing being off (the kids all have birthdays this spring AND we have a huge vacation planned in June - I can't be recovering from surgery). PLUS - this greatly affects my childcare job. From what I have read, it's like having a c-section, so expect at least a week for recovery (if not 2) and 6 weeks until you feel back to normal.
I have a feeling I am going to end up giving my daycare kids notice. I already planned on discontinuing my services in June - it's not really fair to take a 2-week medical leave before that too. So, this may be the end for that (which is both a blessing and a curse).
I am also most worried about how I will be a SAHM to my children if I am busy recovering from a surgery. :(
I am sad and scared about this. I know there are so many worse things than a hernia, but to someone who never had a surgery or serious illness, I am just a wreck.
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Hi Lisa,
ReplyDeleteI hope things go well at the doctor. I'll be thinking of you! I completely understand where you are coming from. I had wisdom teeth removed in the fall and like you said, there are more scary things out there, but I was absolutely petrified. After they took me into the room to wait, I sat there crying and trying to stop until the doc came in. It's OKAY to be scared about things like this, it makes you human.
I'm also going through some babysitting struggles. Maybe we can chat one day, I'm trying to decide what to do and it would be great to get an outside opinion!
~Michelle
I'd love to chat Michelle - sounds like we'd have lots to talk about! I didn't know you did childcare too! It's only 9:00 on Monday and I've already had two babysitting issues come up - I am so tired of it! *sigh*
ReplyDeleteHope you are having a good start to the week - I am off to call the doctor about my problem (I was the BIGGEST BABY when I had my wisdom teeth out!).